Lost. Scared. Lonely. Shaken. Sad. Angry. Bitter. Relieved. Hopeful. These are just some of the stops along the emotional roller coaster that is divorce. It’s not anything that anyone should have to endure alone. Now that divorce is so common, there are tons of resources available to help you survive the process with at least some level of dignity.
Let me begin by telling you the one resource not to depend on – friends and family! Their advice may be misguided, uninformed, and downright damaging to your ability to think straight. They will generally be biased in one way or another. They are great for a shoulder to lean on and to remind you that you are loved, all of which you will need during this ride. Yet, do your best to get advice from objective professionals. This will reduce family stress and maintain good relationships overall.
The key resources that I think everyone should consider during and after the divorce process are:
A Good Therapist – There is so much emotional trauma caused by divorce that you really need to talk it through with a qualified professional. A therapist will help you paint a picture of how your post-divorce life should look. This is one way you can hope to form new relationships that aren’t negatively affected by the divorce.
Non-Profits – Almost every community in the country has a non-profit that offers divorce support resources. In Virginia, it is the Virginia Legal Aid. Check your local community for support in your area.
CDFA™ or Financial Planner – The most common fear that nearly everyone feels in divorce is “Will I be ok financially?” This is especially true for women. Before you agree to any settlement, get a second set of eyes trained to create financial projections so you know what you’re going to be looking at. Of course, I’m biased and would prefer that you find a CDFA™, like myself, that is actually trained specifically in the finances of divorce.
The Internet – Divorce has become big business. There are new resource sites popping up every day offering a wealth of free information, downloads, blogs, referrals, directories, etc. It can be somewhat overwhelming, so just pick out what you connect with and ignore the rest. Go slow. Be kind to yourself. Look for local divorce support groups. These can be great sources of resources. Going to a few is a good idea, yet don’t let yourself become dependent upon them. Recovery is supposed to be about getting better and not staying stuck in your grieving. Use a support group to navigate through the process and then move on.
This is going to be a challenging chapter in your life. In the end, you will be stronger, happier, and ready to move on. Use the resources to help you make good decisions for yourself. Today truly is the first day of the rest of your life. You can do this! If you have questions surrounding your divorce schedule your complimentary consultation today.